Yes, I should be studying.

I need to be studying for my finals, but I wanted to give a little update since I have not posted since March.

We are now less than 7 weeks from when I become a Mrs.! WOW!

I am so excited to become Paul's wife and to have my own little home to tend. I have never lived away from my parents, so it is going to be a learning experience. I think it will be very hard to go into my new kitchen and not have my mother's bakeware, pots and pans, silverware, plates, etc. when I am trying to prepare a meal. I just know I'll start cooking and I'll have forgotten that I didn't have that one spice ingredient I needed. Good thing WalMart will be close! haha!

School is wrapping up soon. I have a presentation tomorrow and two finals on Thursday.

My big prayer request is for the week after this week. Not this Thursday, but next Thursday (May 14th) I have what is called the "HESI test" which is a progression test to decide whether or not I continue from junior to senior year, basically deciding whether or not I stay in nursing school or get kicked out. I get three chances to take it and pass, but the second chance is when I'm supposed to be gone on my honeymoon, so I'm really, really praying that I'll pass it the first time so that I can concentrate on wedding planning and have fun with it rather than trying to balance studying for that test & wedding planning.

I know God's will always goes forth, but please pray that I will not be anxious or nervous about this test. Pray that I will be diligent in studying, but that I will not worry about passing it or not, because God is in control. Pray that when I am tempted to worry, that I will remember to stop and pray and give it up to God. Pray that He will continue to be the delight of my heart and that I will remember that nothing on this earth matters as long as I am serving Him with all of my heart, and that He will direct my paths. Pray that I will trust Him.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7, ESV).

I'm looking forward to being around more this summer and not feeling like my life revolves around school and wedding planning. I miss everyone!

Rainy day in more ways than one

Lord, show me where You want me and who You want me to be, because all I want is what You want. Show me what You want from me and teach me to be who You will for me to be. I want to make an impact for Your kingdom, but sometimes I feel so stagnant and useless. Please help me to fight the lies that Satan throws at me and help me to remember that I'm not worthless, because I am Yours and You gave me breath for a reason. You made me to glorify You and if all I do here on this earth is live each day to praise You, then I will fulfill Your purpose for me. Help me to remember that I'm not here to save the world, but to be a vessel for You. I am merely Your instrument. Work in my heart to mold me into whatever piece of pottery You wish me to be, and help me to be content with planting seeds, even if I don't see the fruit that they produce. Do away with the will of my flesh, and make Your will what I always desire.

"But now, O LORD, you are our Father;
we are the clay, and you are our potter;
we are all the work of your hand"
(Isaiah 64:8, ESV).

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"
(Micah 6:8, ESV).

Happy Birthday!

Happy 17th birthday, Tanner! I love you! :)

My Favorite Places

- the beach
- Barnes & Noble
- Starbucks
- my bed
- my daddy's lap
- Paul's arms
- on top of a mountain
- Ukraine
- the pool
- by the fireplace in the middle of winter
- with my friends
- in a pile of leaves on a crisp fall day
- in a mud puddle with rain boots
- in an ocean without jelly fish
- Maui, Hawaii
- in a rocking chair, holding a baby
- near to my Father

Growing Days

Today was a very big "growing day" for me, spiritually speaking.

It all started this morning when I was talking to Paul on the phone. By the end of the conversation I had come to the conclusion that everything is based on perspective, so we can't trust man for the truth. Everyone has their own version of how an event happened, and their own perspective is the truth. God is the only One who can really say what truth is, because He has been accurate & truthful 100% or the time. He has always fulfilled promises and commitments, and never had to say He was wrong... because He hasn't been!

That was growing lesson #1.

Secondly, I was up at the hospital getting my clinical assignment and the weather outside was dreadful. Student parking is not near the hospital, so we either take the bus or walk. When I walked out of the hospital to go to my car, the bus was no where in sight, so I decided to walk instead of just stand in the rain & get drenched.
Well, it rained pretty hard as I was walking to my car, and I was getting really wet. I started praying, "Lord, would you please let up on the rain? At least until I can get to my car?" and yet it continued to rain at a steady pace. Then I started getting a little upset and thought, "Ok, Lord, why aren't you answering me?"
When I finally got to my car, I opened the car door, sat down, shut the door, and the rain started to POUR! It was then that I realized that God was listening to my prayers and was answering them, just not how I had anticipated. If I hadn't prayed for Him to let up on the rain, perhaps He had intended for it to pour the entire time I walked to my car & I would have been completely soaked.
What a good lesson on God's provision! There are so many times when I think, "God, are you listening?" and yet, I don't stop to think that maybe my prayers aren't being answered exactly how I expected, but they are being answered and He is making things better than they might have been had I not been faithful to pray.

So, that was lesson #2. Now on to lesson #3...

This one isn't nearly as profound as lesson #2, but Paul and I were studying Genesis 41 tonight and came to the conclusion that Manasseh & Ephraim (sons of Joseph & Ansenah) were probably twins. What's the significance? Well, these days it's been shown that sometimes twins are genetic. If your parent is a twin, or you have a biological aunt or uncle who is a twin, you are more likely to have twins. Jacob & Esau were twins, and then Jacob had Joseph, and Joseph had twins. How cool to remember that if someone is genetically predisposed now, they would have been genetically predisposed back then, too, they just didn't know it! That was my medical/spiritual moment for the day. :)

Thank you, God, for growing days!

Why me, Lord?

I love this song, but I can never seem to make it through the whole thing without getting choked up and having tears poor down my face. I really need to start bringing tissues to church! I am just so very thankful that I was chosen, though I don't understand why I was when others were not. Especially as we have just started a new year & have new men and women in office, the fourth and fifth verses are my prayer for the year. What a beautiful song!

How sweet and aweful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.

While all our hearts and all our songs
Join to admire the feast,
Each of us cry, with thankful tongues,
"Lord, why was I a guest?"

"Why was I made to hear Thy voice,
And enter while there's room,
When thousands make a wretched choice,
And rather starve than come?"

'Twas the same love that spread the feast
That sweetly drew us in;
Else we had still refused to taste,
And perished in our sin.

Pity the nations, O our God,
Constrain the earth to come;
Send Thy victorious Word abroad,
And bring the strangers home.

We long to see Thy churches full,
That all the chosen race
May, with one voice and heart and soul,
Sing Thy redeeming grace.

Starting Back Up

Nursing school started back this week... and I'm very busy again. Please pray that I will be diligent in my studies and have good time management.