Thursday, January 10, 2008

"I do the very thing I hate."

Have you ever just felt bitter towards someone who has cut you deeply? There is someone in my life that I love very much, but who has hurt me time and time again over a moderately long period of time. It's a struggle not to be bitter towards this person, even though I know that I should hold no hard feelings towards them. The Apostle Paul describes my dilemma (as well as his and every other human being's) well in Romans 7 when he writes, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate" (Romans 7:15, ESV). I don't want to be bitter, especially not towards someone who I love and admire so much, but I continue to think mean words and thoughts in my heart towards this person. My pride gets in the way and instead of having compassion towards others, I desire to lash out towards them at least in my heart if not out loud. The battle against mind and flesh is constant!

Dear Father, please forgive my sinful heart and help me to have a heart of love and forgiveness. Thank you that you have abolished the law of sin and that you gave me an undeserved gift of mercy and eternal life with You. Demolish every one of my sinful thoughts and deeds. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Destroy my sin and sanctify my spirit. Thank you for your steadfast love and forgiveness towards me. Amen.

"So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin" (Romans 7:21-25, ESV).